A friend asked me the other day what was “wrong” with social media. It’s part of my job, so he figured I’d have an opinion. And I do. It’s just that I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with social media. I think how we use it is a more interesting question.

There’s a lot of wrong and a lot of right in how people use social media

The medium itself isn’t inherently good or bad; it’s how people use it. And in that sense, it’s like every other tool humans create to make their lives easier. Note, I said “easier,” not “better.” As a species, we are still governed by Darwin – survival of the fittest. Over time, that definition has changed. It’s no longer about who hunts best or can drag the best-looking (meaning, healthiest) woman into his cave. Now, it’s about information, money and power. Thousands of years from now, I wouldn’t be surprised if humans had bigger eyeballs (to see more information), larger heads (to process it) and less muscular bodies (how many muscles do you really need to process information?). But I digress…

Social media has continued a trend that started in the ’90s.

Whatever we used to do offline, we are now doing online. Research (libraries vs. Google), romance (bars vs. Tinder), and conversation (telephone vs. social). But that’s just evolution.

The question we need to be asking is whether we’re using it the way it ought to be used; that is, for better interaction, faster communication and to forge connections with people we might never meet otherwise. Does that happen? Of course it does. I’ve reconnected with high school friends I’d lost track of (Go Lakewood Tigers!) and learned from people I would have never found any other way.

Five examples of using social media the WRONG way

1. To hide – whether it’s your mother-in-law criticizing your cooking or that annoying friend who never knows when to leave at the end of an evening, social media gives us an excuse to NOT talk to someone when they want to talk to us. We choose when to interact (or not). It’s kind of useful, but I wonder if it is making us lose our conflict resolution or diplomacy skills.
2. To be mean – we’re all guilty of it. Especially toward celebrities or sports stars, (I’m raising my hand, here). We say things on social we would never say to someone’s face. It can be funny, but it can also have tragic consequences.
3. To be nosy – whether we call it stalking or genuine curiosity, we try to find out more about people’s lives than we’d ever ask them outright. To be sure, since they post much of the information themselves, it’s probably not really bad, but it’s still nosy.
4. To boast – we’re starting to see more research about how some people feel more depressed when they read their friends’ posts, showing a perfect life. Few of us will post about our dark sides or less-than-perfect experiences. And while we also wouldn’t bring bad things up in a face-to-face conversation with an acquaintance, I think social media makes it easier for us to become narcissistic, depressed and insecure—all at the same time.
5. To lie – this is an extension of #4, but this is more on the societal level. How many viral posts have you seen that were later proven untrue? An entire industry has been built around fact-checking social posts. If we aren’t actually saying it while having to look someone in the eye, it’s easier to lie to further our own agenda–whether it’s political, religious, personal or something else. And that’s a disturbing trend.

Social media is like any other tool – it’s up to us what we do with it.

As the technology matures, we need to mature our use of it and realize the actual power we have with our keyboard.

What about you? Any ideas on how we’re using social media wrong? How do you think we should be using it? Leave your comments and insights!